Bête Noire

i know a lot of college students are not studying due to personal reasons. i am lucky that i have parents who are responsible for my tuition and stuffs. life is hard. i believe what jessie j. told us that about the we don't need money thing, guess what she's, wrong! right now without money you'll die. food is not free. without money, you can't go to college ( unless you are that smart to have an scholarship, well not everyone who is willing to study are not that GENIUS ).

yes, we are really poor. but my parents are doing they're best to provide me and my brother a great school and i pity them for working so hard. but i can't do something. i have to go on. if i stop and keep on thinking i pity them, we will end up pitying each other. time will surpass and we will age, we will end up dying because of pityness. so, even though i watch them sacrificing, i am doing my best to learn the degree I'm taking.

with my foolishness, i shall devour my dreams in a slowly but surely manner. i want to succeed and have fun at the same time. trials, quest and others stuffs might interfere, but i will not let my guard down. i want to create myself in an experimental way. there's one small thing that this useless me can do, a little coward, but I'll try to expand myself more.

i know we can't just continue playing around forever, but i have so many plans and back up plans in case someone or something will outrun me. there's so many thoughts i have inside my head. i'm just too lazy to speak or to show them up.